Tonight I stood on the beach and lit a Chinese lantern. I made a wish and watched it float up into the sky. I don’t know what part of it brought me to tears…maybe the fact that it was overwhelmingly beautiful. Or what I was wishing for. But I continued to watch it get smaller and smaller as it floated farther away. The farther it got, the more hopeful I became. It was like my wish was getting smaller, so I wished and wished and wished and I felt like I had it. I was holding into it so tight that I walked away as if I got a glimpse of it and was truly magical.
I have moments of wonder. Just complete curiosity. Where is my life going? When will things happen? What is the lesson? Why am I where I am now? I want so badly to be secure. But instead I’m at such a loss. I know that’s part of life. I’m supposed to take every day and learn something from it. Grow and become who I am meant to be. Blah blah blah. I know I’m on my way there. But sometimes I just want some sort of hint, you know? …When these things will happen. I work hard. I am hopeful. I am motivated. I am excited. But don’t blame me if I have moments of sadness, moments of complete desperation or frustration. I’m only human. But at the end of the day, I won’t give up. I believe in what’s meant to be. I believe in me.